A big part of sacred sexuality is learning to love and worship the penis, the lingam, not simply as a pleasure tool, but worshipping it as a sacred wand of light and creation. The penis or the lingam has since time immemorial been revered as a powerful symbol of masculine energy, power and creative potential. A specific article is available on lingam massage on this blog at [to be published].
While for most men the penis is the focus of their sexuality and truly is the locus of the most concentrated masculine enegy, lingam massage is but a sub-ritual of a total homoerotic Tantra session, and optimally should be included with a method of achieving multiple erotospiritual cosmic orgasm, massage of the so-called “sacred spot”, the P-spot, or prostate massage, the locus of the second chakra.
Massaging the Male Sacred Spot
Homoerotic Tantra is an erotospiritual practice and involves the triad of mind, body and spirit. In order to derive the whole range of benefits from the practices and rituals, you must suspend any form of judgement, you must trust your partner completely, you must be willing to be authentic (genuine and truthful), self-forgetful (leave the ego at the door). You must be willing to surrender to your partner, and accept your responses and reactions with abandonment and freedom. In our homoerotic Tantra session we will join other esoteric traditions of erotospiritual practices that are conceived to overcome the separation of sacred (spiritual) and profane (physical sexual) love.
For most men the thought of prostate massage produces an uncomfortable reaction of curiosity and dread. But such a reaction is artifactual, and is at its origin a trust issue that must be overcome before any man can fully enjoy the benefits of homoerotic Tantra and massage as part of your erotospiritual engagement. Overcoming judgement and trust issues is one big reason why you should make prostate massage an integral part of your sexual practices; it then will become highly desirable in your erotic life and will become an enhancement of your erotic performance as well as you masculine self-esteem.
Prostate massage has been used in many traditions throughout history as a way to enhance a man’s sexual pleasure. Prostate massage is described explicitly in only a few traditions, however, and the technique described is what we call the digital massage of the prostate, either externally or internally. When prostate massage is done to enhance orgasm and produce ejaculation, we refer to it as “prostate milking.”
One of the pleasurable effects of anal intercourse is that when the penis is enters the anus the prostate is stimulated, and the ensuing thrusting motion is actually massage stimulation of the prostate. This is one of the reasons why the recipient partner’s orgasm and ejaculation during anal sex is so intense and full.
Prostate massage is now recognized to be beneficial therapy in men who are living with common prostate disorders as well as in its role in enhancing orgasm (more intense and multiple orgasms), promoting ejaculation (in cases of delayed ejaculation) and erectile function (as in erectile dysfunction or ED).
How to do prostate massage manually
There are two ways you can perform prostate massage: externally or internally. There are two ways to do external or internal prostate massage: digitally or using a prostate massage too. There are two types of prostate massage tool: manual and electronic. Quite frankly, which method you use is immaterial; it’s the experience that counts. Not only does prostate massage provide a unique and intense pleasure experience, it can increase blood flow in the anogenital area, improve urinary flow, and may even contribute to prostate health in general.
As in any erotic practice, but especially in homoerotic tantric practice, there is some preparation to be done before the real interaction starts. Hygiene and preventive practices must be taken seriously to avoid injury, possible infection, and to avoid possible embarrassment.
If you want to give this practice a try or want to add a little flair to your sex life, follow these steps to get started:
- Bodily cleanliness is a must. Shower before any session making certain to give attention to the genitals and the anus. If you are uncut, gently cleanse the head of the penis and behind the foreskin.
- There are some preparations that you can do to ensure that the rectum is empty and clean. First of all, a high fiber diet helps. Try to have a bowel movement before your shower. You will want to douche before the session to ensure that all material is out of the rectum. Make certain everything is springtime fresh in the business areas.
- If you are going to use the digital method it is very important that you trim and file your nails to ensure that there are no sharp edges and no burrs that that can injure the very delicate tissues. If you are going to use a glove, a finger cot, or a condom to massage the prostate, make certain you are not using a silicone-based lube.
- Assume one of the positions described below or have your partner get into one of the positions. This may happen automatically as you move through a tantric session and change positions, so you can play it by ear. If you find either of you are in a good position for prostate massage, go for it.
- Generally, don’t break the flow and spontaneity of the session by distracting procedures like putting on a glove or similar, if you can manage to discretely put on a condom on the finger or fingers, fine, otherwise you can go skin-to-skin.
- Place oil based lubricant on your index finger or your index and middle finger, and lube the anus and the external sphincter anus. Of course, you can use special toys instead of your fingers, but I prefer skin-to-skin finger work.
- Trust is absolutely essential when performing this technique; if you and your partner don’t completely trust one another, it’s not going to work. You can try your best to be relaxed but if you don’t trust your partner, you won’t be able to be completely vulnerable and surrender to his ministrations. It may be helpful to engage in gentle ass play or even rimming before the massage; this helps to relax both of you.
- Always communicate with your partner. Ask if he’s ready to have you insert your finger tip for the prepping phase of the massage.
- Gently, tentatively and slowly Insert index finger into the anus past the external sphincter, wait a second or two, and then go in past the internal sphincter, pause, and then proceed into the rectum. I repeat: do this slowly and gently. There’s no rush and if you do it clumsily you’ll kill the moment dead as a stone.
- Again, communicate with your partner, and ask if he’s ready to have you insert your finger(s) to explore and massage his sacred spot. Ensure that both your finger and your partner’s anus are generously lubed or oiled. This is very important.
- A good insertion is to penetrate about 2–3 inches in — that’s up to about your second finger joint — and pause, allowing your partner to relax before proceeding. This will allow him to adjust his position for maximum pleasure. Usually if he brings his legs up to his chest or onto your shoulders, penetration will be improved and pleasure increased. (about your second knuckle)
- Move the tip(s) of your inserted finger(s) upwards towards your partner’s belly button (navel), and hold for a second or two.
- Now, using your inserted finger(s) gently explore until you detect a roundish walnut sized mass of tissue just in back of the penis and in the wall of the rectum – You’ve found the prostate gland; this is your partner’s sacred spot.
You’re ready to begin:
- If you’re in the right place, your partner will react and indicate that he’s feeling a different sensation, which he may describe as strange and/or pleasurable. It’s important to note his breathing pattern and his vocalizations. His body will tell you if you’re pleasuring him.
- As soon as your partner is fully relaxed and you feel a release of tension on your inserted fingers, you can start moving around the prostate. Gently massage the area all around the prostate with your fingerpad, applying gentle but firm pressure, concentrating on tracing around the sacred spot (try to avoid the middle portion). The pleasure effects produced depend on the pressure applied, the speed of your massaging movements, and type of movement and these vary from individual to individual. You’ll have to go slowly and read the feedback.
- There is no rush so do every action slowly, gently, responsively, paying close attention to your partner’s breathing and the sounds he is making; don’t go for the penis yet, and you may even want to avoid touching his penis in order to produce the most intense prostate orgasm.
- You can experiment with bringing your partner to multiple prostate orgasms (P-orgasms) as possible before you decide to move on in the session or to begin milking the prostate or orally stimulating him while massaging his prostate, or you can masturbate him or he can do himself to experience very intense ejaculation. How you want to handle the ejaculation depends on you but it’s always useful to have a towel nearby.
- If you bring your partner to ejaculation by massaging his prostate this is what we call “milking” the prostate. After one or several P-orgasms the ejaculation is likely to be very intense, forceful and voluminous.
- Add more lube if you feel it would help your movements or enhance your partner’s pleasure and comfort.
- If there is any pain or any indication of trauma or bleeding STOP IMMEDIATELY.
- During the prepping massage or foreplay, you may want to bring your partner to a full erection. This will increase his pleasure.
- Use a lot of oil-based lube on your fingers, the perineum, around and in the anus. and on your partner’s penis. This is very important to ensure smooth and silky massage and to avoid any friction or discomfort, which will be distracting and can kill the moment.
- Whether performing the massage ritual solo or with a partner, the best position is to lay down on your mat or on a bed (on your back, with the hips raised slightly on a pillow or cushion, heels close to the buttocks and the knees up). This positioning makes the areas of focus more accessible.
- Always communicate with your partner in soft, gentle, encouraging tones. Be aware of his responses. Always ask permission before entering his sacred sanctuary. Slow down or pause as soon as you detect any tension around your fingers or if your partner is showing any signs of discomfort.
P-orgasm (prostate orgasm) is an orgasm produced by massaging the prostate. Achieving a P-Orgasm by internal prostate massage is not quantum physics, but you will need a little practice with the particular partner; every man will respond differently. You have to find the best position for receiver and easy, comfortable, pleasurable access to the entire area is vital, so it is important to discuss possible positions and to agree on a position that will be the most comfortable for you and your partner. During a tantric session, you will be changing positions so you can play this by ear; if your partner is responding, you’ll both know when he’s ready.
Comfortable anal penetration
The following positions are probably the best ones for men and allow comfortable anal penetration and access to the prostate via the rectum:
- Place your partner on his hands and knees (or you assume this position), legs slightly apart.
- You can bend your partner over a table, a chair or the side of the bed.
- Laying on his (your) side on the bed, a mat, the floor, the upper leg extended slightly forward but bent. This one works well when soloing.
- Lying flat on his/your back with his/your knees up and on your/his shoulders.
- Lying flat on his/your back with his/your knees up and his/your feet flat, knees pointing up.
- Squatting, facing one another (this can be a bit awkward but allows deeper penetration).
- Seated facing one another, your partner seated on your thighs, his legs and arms wrapped around you (this allows deep penetration and is a classic for anal intercourse). This is called the Tantric yab-yum position and is iconic of the masuline and feminine principles, Shiva-Shakti, in cosmic co-creative embrace.
Note: If your partner is having a hard time relaxing and enjoying the experience, you may have to adjust your technique — you may be too forceful, too hurried, not using enough lube, or just not giving him permission to guide your actions — try this:
- Ensure that your finger(s) and the area around and in the anus are well lubricated.
- Insert your lubricated finger into the anus and gently probe for the prostate. The prostate feels like a small walnut. Pause, allow your partner to relax.
- Once the prostate has been located, apply light pressure for several seconds using your finger pad(s), and then release the pressure. Note his responses.
- Ask his permission to go deeper with your finger.
- Advance the finger again and apply gentle pressure on the same or a different spot if you can. Hold for several seconds and then release. Note: If you apply pressure to the center or middle portion of the prostate, you may note that there is a release of clear fluid (precum) at the tip of the penis.
- Repeat this massage method five to ten times, always noting your partner’s responses. It’s very likely he will have a strong erection, which is normal, and a clear fluid (precum) might appear at the tip of his penis, again this is normal depending on how you are massaging. But, for now, concentrate on the prostate not on the erection.
The external massage is to apply gentle pressure with a finger along the perineum, the area located between the scrotum and anus. Use some lube so that your finger glides easily along this sensitive area, and massage the entire perineum for several minutes. Find a slight bulge approximately midway between the scrotum and the anus and gently massage it using one, two or three lubed fingers. This is the external massage of the prostate.
How to do prostate massage with a massage device
If you are into adventure and variety, you may want to try using a prostate massage tool or an electronic massage device. There is a huge variety of models of both from which to choose both for internal and external prostate massage. Whether you use a tool or an electronic device use one designed only for prostate massage, and not one considered a “toy” or for multiple uses. If you use a tool or device, please study to product information carefully and know how to use it correctly. Study what’s offered on the market and carefully read reviews and other information about the products you are considering before you make your purchase and use it on yourself or your partner.
If you purchase a prostate massager for internal massage, make certain you are using one specifically designed for internal use, that is, one that can be inserted into the anus and survive oil-based lube. The anal and rectal tissues are delicate tissues, so it is vitally important that you use a device that has been designed solely for this purpose. You may find that you prefer a vibration effect and you can then consider products that have a vibration feature. Any device for internal use must be well-lubricated before insertion and even while massaging. The vibration feature triggers when the device is pressed against the prostate, and may reduce inflammation, improve blood flow, and relax the gland.
External prostate massage products are designed so you can sit on them, and may also applies pressure and/or vibration stimulation to the perineum and to the prostate externally.
The prostate is the male G-spot
The prostate is the male G-spot—which was named after the pioneering sexologist Ernst Gräfenberg—the male prostate gland can help produce intense orgasms and voluminous ejaculation. The male G-spot is located about two or three inches into the rectum, measuring from the anus.
The prostate also aids in the production of seminal fluid; all male orgasms start with the prostate. The prostate has even more nerve endings than the penis and so it is a key to male erotic pleasure.
Of course, some men just can’t trust and surrender, so it will be difficult to convince them to allow internal prostate massage. That’s not a big problem because the prostate can be externally stimulated by applying pressure to the perineum—that no-man’s land between a man’s scrotum and, since nerve endings on the perineum are closely associated with nerve endings in the prostate, applying external stimulation and pressure the perineum will send him at least a couple of rungs higher up the ladder to pleasure paradise.
Many guys who rush into lovemaking with no preparation usually end up mixing feces in their lovemaking; I call this expecting fluffy merengue and getting chocolate mousse. So, I recommend very strongly that you ensure that you have evacuated as much as possible from your rectum prior to taking a shower, that you clean the area well, and about an hour before the session, use a rectal douche. I recommend that you douche with warm water only before your tantric session and possible prostate-massage.
I manscape and if you are a hairy man, plan to shave strategic areas; I do recommend manscaping. Manscaping means removal of excess or all hair on the body, especially in the target areas. Each area of the body has different sensitivities and characteristics so not all hair removal methods will be appropriate for all body areas. Shaving, waxing, depilatories, clipping, plucking, etc. can all be used but with caution.
Fingernails are especially important. Make certain that the nails are trimmed and all sharp edges and burrs are filed down. Always ensure that you sanitize before you eroticize. If you intend to use any sex toys or stimulation tools or devices, make certain that they are carefully cleaned and disinfected before and after the session.
Agree on a position or positions that will be comfortable and pleasurable for your partner and will allow you easy access and penetration into his anus and rectum. It’s usually tight and sensitive down there so my advice is to lube, Lube, and LUBE. Sorry guys, unlike a vagina, your male anus does not self-lubricate. You need to find a lubricant specifically formulated for anal application and you should not be afraid to use plenty of it.
Then, when you’re in the shower, insert a soapy, well-manicured finger a few times until you’re feeling squeaky clean. This doubles as opportunity to grow accustomed to the feeling of having something inserted into your butt. At first, it’s probably going to feel like you’re going to have a bowel movement, but if you make it part of your showering regimen, you can create a new pleasurable association, quite distinct from a healthy BM.
Your partners will all be different in their responses. Some guys are going to really enjoy prostate massage right from the start. Some are going to be suspicious or even refuse to try it. Still more will react the same way that most people do when trying something adventurous: they’ll learn to enjoy it over time. Most guys who make it work for them agree that their orgasms are much more intense (and very different) than what they might experience from penile stimulation alone. Some say it’s more focused, and others compare it to energy waves flowing through a region of the body or even the entire body. It depends on the masseur’s technique and experience, whether external or internal, the pressure and motion of the massage, whether an instrument is used, and, obviously, the person receiving the massage.
Both the masseur and the receiver should understand that simply massaging the prostate for a few seconds will likely not produce orgasm, and some men may not orgasm every time, but with practice, the process has been shown to be a very effective way to achieve enhanced orgasm(s) and more voluminous cum.
This technique will cause intense sexual stimulation and arousal, and your partner will become highly aroused and responsive. Don’t be surprised if he starts moving his body in response to your insertions, urging you ever deeper into his sanctuary.
Your massaging will likely give him a raging hard-on. This is a natural response when these areas are stimulated. And we all know about spontaneous erections. Yes, a strong erection will be distracting and even tempting but it will subside shortly. Just stay focused on the massage for now.
You and your partner should also expect that he will go soft or even lose the erection spontaneously. This is completely normal and expected, and shouldn’t be a cause for concern or embarrassment. (You may want to discuss this point before starting the session, just to be sure he’s comfortable and not surprised when this happens.)
Reaching a P-Orgasm through internal stimulation is not very complicated, but it will require a little practice on your side. Before you begin, it is crucial to choose a position that will be the most comfortable for you.
- Prostate milking should never cause any pain; it should be pure pleasure.
- Always trim your fingernails and file the edges smooth; use plenty of non-silicon lube, preferably natural botanical oils, or a non-allergenic synthetic lube to avoid skin irritation.
- Always communicate with your partner. Ask permission before entering his sanctuary or advancing your finger(s) deeper into him.
- Take your time, make slow and directed movements, be gentle, and be aware of, attentive to, and responsive to his responses.
- Homoerotic Tantra is not a competition sport or a performance contest; leave that to the sexual amateurs. Homoerotic Tantra is a form of worship and a spiritual discipline. Your partner’s body is the sacred space, the place of worship. Keep this in mind at all times.
- If soloing, do not touch your cock when internally milking your prostate to experience intense orgasm(s); do not allow your partner to fondle himself or to assist you in the massage. Tie him up if necessary. Blindfold him if he feels compelled to watch. (Bondage and blindfolding will be discussed as techniques in an upcoming essay.)
- Agree on and bring your partner to an appropriate position that is both comfortable for him and one that will allow you complete access to all areas of focus during the massage ritual.
- Bring your partner to a full erection.
- Use a plenty of natural botanical oil-based lube on your fingers/toys, cock, perineum, and anus.
- If you have them, sex toys designed specifically for prostate massage or insertion into the anus can be used for technical variety or convenience, and can be used to bring your partner to orgasm and ejaculation.
- When you want to finish with ejaculation, there will likely be a lot of cum. Depending on your practice you may receive your partner’s cum as a gift anally, as sacred food orally, or as holy anointing. You may want to have tissues or towels at hand to collect any extra.
- Slow down, pause, or stop if you become aware of any tension in your partner or if he shows any signs of discomfort.
Signs You Are Reaching P-Orgasm
It’s only natural that the beginner will try to anticipate when he’s getting close to a prostate orgasm and in it doesn’t happen in just the way he expects it to happen, well something went wrong. What went wrong is that he fell into the trap of expectation. He started to want to control the session and he was so insecure and unprepped, he’s worried he’s doing it all wrong. The whole exercise is about relinquishing control and just getting carried by the flow. As soon as you start worrying about technique you lose the vision.
Here are some signs that you are getting closer to orgasm when receiving prostate massage:
- Clear fluid will appear at the opening of your cock. This is pre-cum and it is a sign that the prostate massage is working.
- You might feel the urge to pee. This is just a neurological effect of prostate massage and does not mean that you are going to piss yourself. So relax.
- You might have spontaneous muscle contractions around the area of stimulation. The contractions might especially occur in the pelvic and thigh areas as well as legs.
- You might have a feeling of heat or warmth in your pelvis and genitals; this is an indication that you are getting very close to orgasm.
These are just a couple of common signs but bear in mind that each one of us will respond differently. You many not experience all of these signs and you may not experience them in this order; on the other hand, you may experience other signs not mentioned here.
Please share your experiences with me either by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment on this blog.
Homoerotic Tantra is All About Adventure and Discovery
Because of our culture and our fear of our bodies and allowing ourselves to experience pure pleasure, most men avoid anything that is related to playing with (and penetrating) their anuses. The lurid misinformation is that if a man enjoys anything like anal penetration he has to be effeminate, and not a real man. There’s nothing more masculine than the prostate; it’s just as male as a cock. Only a man can experience a prostate orgasm, and P-orgasim is an event that is so unique that you simply cannot achieve it through conventional sex. As a male brought up in the Judeo-Christian tradition or any Western tradition, the suggestion of anal penetration and prostate massage may seem aberrant or perverse but in some of the oldest and long-established religious and secular traditions it is a widely practiced discipline; you may be hesitant at first but when you are relaxed with the technique and have experienced its benefits, you will wonder how you ever enjoyed sex without it.
You will have to surrender yourself to exploding floods of cum, feeling waves of pleasure energy pass through your body, abandoning control over your physical movements, and feelings of intense emotions like joy and love. These are just a few “ecstasies” you will experience when you have included prostate massage in your homoerotic Tantric sessions on a regular basis.
To download a pdf version of this article, please click this link: Prostate Massage.
Special acknowledgement to (click on the image to visit ErosExoticaGay) for some of the images and information included in this essay.
 Note: If you know or have reason to believe you have or may have any anal, rectal, genital, prostate or other health problems, it is important to consult with your healthcare provider before you practice prostate massage either solo or with a partner.
 Note: In this essay and in the links provided as complements to this essay, the terms P-spot, sacred spot, prostate, prostate gland are all used interchangeably.