Venerating and Worship of the Masculine Wand of Light: Lingam Massage

A big part of male sacred sexuality is learning to love and worship the penis, the lingam, not simply as a pleasure tool, but worshiping it as a sacred wand of light and creation. The penis or the lingam has since time immemorial been revered as a powerful symbol of masculine energy, power and creative potential.

While for most men the penis is the focus of their physical sexuality and eroticism, and while it is truly the locus of the most concentrated masculine energy, lingam massage is but a sub-ritual of a total homoerotic Tantra session; its chakra is located at the base of the penis and is associated with the first or root chakra (located in the perineum in the male). I recommend that lingam massage be optimally included with a method of achieving multiple erotospiritual cosmic orgasm, massage of the so-called “sacred spot”, the P-spot, or prostate massage, the locus of the second chakra. (Click here to read my essay on Prostate Massage.)

Homoerotic Tantra is an erotospiritual practice and involves the triad of mind, body and spirit. In order to derive the whole range of benefits from the practices and rituals, you must suspend any form of judgement, you must trust your partner completely, you must be willing to be authentic (genuine and truthful), self-forgetful (leave the ego at the door). You must be willing to surrender to your partner, and accept your responses and reactions with abandonment and freedom. In our homoerotic Tantra session we will join other esoteric traditions of erotospiritual practices that are conceived to overcome the separation of sacred (spiritual) and profane (physical sexual) love.


A big part of sacred sexuality is becoming comfortable in worshipping the penis as a sacred organ and the site of the greatest concentration of masculine spiritual energy, and to reverence it through ritual manipulation or massage.

The lingam massage I am describing you can be done two ways. The first method is for men to learn when soloing, so they can practice edging on themselves during masturbation.

In the second method, a partner gives the receiver the massage. It can be a separate ritual unto itself or it can be a form of prepping or foreplay before tantric sex.

In Tantra, we connect with our partner on a deeply personal and on a spiritual level. We also connect with the universal sexual chi or life energy that is in our partner’s body as an energetic creative life force. One way to do this is through lingam massage. An oversimplification of lingam massage would be to call it an exotic hand job. But the difference is that lingam massage is performed as a sacred ritual mindfully, reverently, trustfully, and in a spirit of self-forgetfulness and self-emptying, being aware of and responsive to your partner as both the giver and recipient of a priceless gift.

Unlike your profane hand job, the lingam massage involves not only skilled ritual massaging and stroking of your partner’s penis, it can also include more advanced erotic massage technique, including stimulation and manipulation of the scrotum and balls, perineum, the anus, and the Sacred Spot (the prostate).

Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to “wand of light.” In Tantra philosophy, we approach the lingam, or penis, from a place of the utmost love and respect. By bringing a partner pleasure through his “wand of light,” we share and are filled with that same creative energy or “light“ in a sensuous, erotospiritual exchange of energy in giving and receiving pleasure, joy and love.

Lingam massage is a ritual that truly honors a man and his masculine power but we perform the ritual also to give him physical pleasure and ecstasy, and orgasm. Your partner’s penis is the tabernacle of a tremendous amount of sexual energy or chi, and knowing how to stimulate and circulate that energy is very powerful gift.

Statues of the Shiva lingam, a symbolic representation of god Shiva, represents a state of meditation. Lingam (Sanskrit: लिंगम्: liṅgaṃ, literally a sign, symbol or mark) is an abstract or aniconic representation of the Shaivite Hindu deity, Shiva. For Tantric practitioners the Shiva lingam embraced a secret meaning: that this powerful divine energy is present in the male body, most concentrated in the penis, which contains the most masculine essence concentrated in one place.

In order to engage your partner in sacred homoerotic sex you need to approach your male partner’s body as a holy temple and his penis as the most holy part of his entire physical body.

Sacred sex is not just one orgasm, one ejaculation and being finished, only to roll over and go to sleep. Sacred homoerotic sex is about learning to ever escalating levels of love, joy and pleasure that will mature into waves of multiple orgasms during the massage session. In order to achieve this ecstasy, you will perform lingam massage or tantric penis massage on your partner.

The ritual described below can be performed solo in order to practice masturbation and energy control, or you can perform it on your partner in a mutual ritual for joy and love, and to train for energy control.

For ease in understanding let’s call the giving partner the “masseur” and the receiving partner, the “recipient.” This will make it easier to follow the ritual acts and movements.

The session can begin with a short bath ritual, if appropriate facilities are available. In the alternative, the ritual bathing can be done in the shower and combined with energetic and sensuous touching. The ritual bathing and touching will ease any initial anxiety and is preparation for the homoerotic Tantra session and the massage rituals.

Briefly, we start with a gentle massage of the inner thighs, moving up to the genitals, the perineum and slowly moving to the sacred spot (either externally or internally). This technique will stimulate an inner relaxation which aids the hip and adductor muscles to relax and butterfly. When this configuration is maintained naturally and in conjunction with focused breath-work your partner will feel a pleasurable “ballooning” sensation in and around the pelvic area. This relaxation will allow you to caress and massage your partner’s sacred spot more deeply and pleasurably. You will become aware of and sensitive to tension areas and pleasure spots, and such reading of your partner’s responses will allow additional pleasure from increased stimulation. One of the indications that your partner, the receiver, may give is when he starts meeting your penetration to deepen it or he will start rocking his hips, meeting and seducing the caressing finger.

Stimulating the sacred spot is a technique unto itself but can be used during lingam massage for an added boost of pleasure and to enhance your partners orgasm(s).

Including deep abdominal breathing work during the extended genital and prostate massage will relax your partner body and greatly enhance the over-all experience. Breath-work is what, ultimately, brings forth a whole body orgasmic experience. As a person begins to recognize the chronic tension and holding patterns held within the body, a higher level of awareness will also develop. With intention and touch the body can begin to “re-wire” its nervous system and find a natural rhythm and frequency.

In general, we will practice a breathing technique that is deep, rhythmic, and focused. The masseur will assist in this breathing practice and guide the receiver. One essential focus will be on the urethral and anal sphincter muscles and application of the general rule: on inspiration contract the sphincters and on expiration relax them.


  1. Create an ambiance of relaxation and eliminate any interruptions.

Before starting any session, make certain that you have all of the necessary materials and paraphernalia prepped and placed conveniently within reach. The type of session and your personal preferences will dictate what you’ll need but the basics will include: Lube an massage oils, towels and tissues, a set of feathers, a very soft make-up brush, several candles or tea lights, a sound system with appropriate chants or background music, mats, pillows or cushions, a large sitting cushion.

Have all of your oils and fragrances, flavors (blow, touch, taste, kiss ritual) within comfortable reach.

You might want to have a temple bell or a small gong nearby to signal transitions and to redirect attention.

Ensure that the room is darkened and that the room temperature is set to provide a comfortable temperature for being naked. Ensure that all possibility of interruption by noise, animals, and people is minimized.

  1. Set the tone of trust and intimacy.

After exchanging intimate embraces, gently guide the recipient to his knees and support him as you bring him gently and lovingly onto his back. Position his arms at his sides palms up. Gently position his legs in the extended position, slightly parted, and his knees slightly raised. so that you can comfortably fit your knees between them. I would suggest rolling up a towel and placing it under his neck. In this position, you will have easy access to his penis, the perineum, and his anus; you will be massaging all of these areas during the ritual.

Take a position to his side, and seated on a cushion, take a small drum or clapper sticks, and set a rhythm for your mutual breathing.

Breathing is important. It should be slow, deep and rhythmic. On inspiration, you both should tense your anal and urethral sphincters, on the expiration relax the sphincters. Remind him to breathe deeply and attempt to keep your breathing rhythm. You may want to use a small drum or sticks to set a breathing rhythm.

The Tantric gaze is a very important part of our homoerotic ritual. Gaze into your partner’s eyes, enter him through his eyes. Hold the gaze and if it is broken at times by the massage ritual, return to it. Gaze upon your parter’s beautiful body and describe it in loving terms to him.

Read the mystic love poetry of Hafiz or Rumi, commit some of the beautiful verses to memory and recite them softly while reverencing your lover’s body.

Always be in contact with your lover’s body at some point, even if you have to reach for an oil or a fragrance or a flavor. Never break the connection or the energy flow during the ritual.

3.      Give special attention to the rates and patterns of breathing.

Deep, regular, synchronized breathing is a characteristic of homoerotic tantric ritual and controlled breathing is what makes Tantra so different from routine, mechanical sex. In Tantra, we practice the concept of “bliss breath.” This means that during the body massage ritual, lingam or prostate massage ritual, you should remember to breathe in such a way as to receive your partner’s energy of arousal and pleasure on the inhale and send him loving energy on the exhale.

When you conceive of your breathing in terms of “bliss breath” during the homoerotic ritual, you and your partner will

  • Experience a deeper feeling of worship, enhanced meditation and mindfulness, and a greater feeling of love for your partner;
  • You will have a heightened sensitivity to and you will become empathetic to his perceptions and responses, and his sensations and emotions.
  • Your sexual intuition will be enhanced and you will be more attuned to and aware of what your partner finds most pleasurable by responding to such things as his breathing, his vocalization, and his physical responses to your gifts of attention and service.

4.      Assist your partner in his breathing depth and rhythm.

Even before the homoerotic tantric session, during the initial intimacies, you and your partner should tune into each other by practicing bliss breath together. You can practice this by taking a few breaths together in synchrony. Deep rhythmic breathing in harmony and synchrony with your partner will calm you both, will bring you biospiritual rhythms into sync, and will have beneficial effects on your heart rate and blood pressure. During the meditations and during the massage rituals, gently and softly encourage your partner to breathe deeply, relax, let go, release, and receive all of the energy flowing between you.

5.      Oils and lube are essentials.

Touch is an essential mode of transmission of the spiritual energies during these rituals. Touch is actually a continuum of connected points, and the smoother the better. If the skin or the hands are dry, there will be a sensation of catching and pulling, similar to microvelcro, and the sensation created will be distracting and unpleasant. Lubrication allows touch to be gentle gliding, seamlessly connecting the infinite number of points into one unique pattern; it is that pattern that will create the pleasure, joy and love you are co-creating with your partner.

The Massage Ritual

Since lingam massage is such an important ritual in our homoerotic practice, we’ll focus on that ritual in the method below.

First of all, generously lubricate and gently massage around the penis.

In general, I recommend the use of high quality massage oils scented with aromatherapeutic essential oils like [jasmine, ylang ylang, bergamont, sandalwood, ginger, etc.]. Because the area around the penis, perineum and anus are so rich in nerves and the tissues are delicate, I recommend using a very mild oil like coconut oil or almond oil as your base, which have a very pleasant fragrance and flavor. Use the oil to lubricate the shaft of the penis and the scrotum, passing down the perineum to the area around the anus, then navigate back to the scrotum, massaging the sack and your partners balls.

Don’t go straight for the penis but start your gifts by running your hands up and down his inner thighs before slowly moving up to his crotch. The inner thighs are one of the male erogenous zones, and massaging the inner thigh will pleasure him while at the same time relaxing him.

Gently whisper instructions, compliments, or loving words while you are massaging him. Let him become aware of your breathing and soft vocalizations while you are attending to him.

Move onto the testicles. Gently, slowly massage them. The scrotum is very sensitive and running your fingernails gently on his scrotum can be very pleasurable. Cup his scrotum and balls in your one hand and gently pull on them. At some point here you can cup his balls in your hands and fondle them by rolling them on the palms of your hands.

The general area of attention in lingam massage includes all of the area around his balls and penis, from the pubic bone in front to his inner thighs, and his perineum (which is the area between his balls and his anus) to around his anus, but the focus is the penis and during lingam massage, always have at least one hand on your partner’s cock.

Caution: As you know, a man’s balls can be very sensitive and some guys may be uncomfortable with someone massaging them. Apply different strokes, pressures, touching and pay attention to your partner’s reactions; he’ll give you cues like accelerated breathing, holding his breath, vocalizations, hand and arm gestures. If your partner is showing signs of sensitivity or ticklishness, change your pattern. Sometimes just reassuring him will relax him. You can talk about what you’ll be doing before you start the session, and you can ask him how he likes his cock and balls touched, or you can ask for feedback as you start fondling them.

Start by massaging the shaft of the penis.

All of the above ritual was basically prepping or teasing your partner into wanting more of your gifts. When you note that he’s ready for more intense attention, you can now move to the shaft of his now hard penis. It is important not to lapse into a mechanical routine. Vary the pressures you apply and the strokes both in direction and in speed. You can even intermittently alternate your grip from tighter to looser, and even pulsate your grip in one place or as you move along the shaft of his penis. You should use stroke variations by using a straight up stroke from the base to the head, a downward stroke from the head to the base, as well as a twisting motion in one direction or in both directions using both hands.

Thus you can change the action from using one hand to using two hands. To avoid fatigue and to provide some variation in the sensations provide d to your partner, alternate your single-hand technique between using the right hand and using the left hand.

The speed of your movements will produce different pleasure sensations so alternate the speed from slow to fast. You can start slowly and build up to a faster pace, then take it back to a slow speed again; alternatively you can start with a rapid stroke and progress to a slower more resolute rate. All the while you are alternating the pressure, speed, rhythm, and methods.

Alternate your shaft strokes to start from the root of the shaft all the way up to the head. Once at the head, you can either continue the straight up and down motion, or you perform a twisting movement—going from the root of the shaft and stopping just below the tip of the penis.

Variety and alternation are key to avoiding mechanical and boring strokes, as well as avoiding any irritation caused by overworking one area.

Here are some examples of two-hand technique:

  • Using both hands, grasp the penis with the fingers of both hands pointing in the same direction.
  • With the one hand holding the penis with the fingers pointing in one direction, place the other hand around the penis with the fingers pointing in the other direction.
  • In the two techniques above, both hands will move up and down at the same time. Ensure that you are using enough lube or oil so that your movements and strokes create a smoother, gliding motion.
  • In another technique, you will move your bottom hand (the hand closest to the base of the penis) up and down while the other hand performs a twisting or a swirling movement while gently grasping the head of the penis.
  • ·It is important that your partner does not ejaculate. He should not cum at any point in lingam massage. Practice cum control or “edging” to prevent ejaculation. The longer you can keep him from orgasm or cumming, the more cosmic the ultimate experience will be.

Your partner may be at a point now where he is begging to cum; he’ll be so aroused that he’s on the edge of finishing. By paying close attention to and staying aware of his responses like his breathing, vocalizations, and body movements, those cues will tell you how close he is to orgasm and cumming.

As soon as you become aware that he’s on the edge, at the point of orgasm and cumming, or if he tells you he’s almost there, take a break in the technique, or just slow it down, and remind him to breathe deeply and slowly, and surf the wave of pre-orgasmic feelings he’s experiencing.

It is completely normal if your partner goes from being rigidly hard to semi-hard or even soft during the ritual. This is actually supposed to happen. I would recommend that you talk about this before the session to avoid his becoming stressed or embarrassed that he lost his erection. This will happen several times during the session and it’s good to know and to expect it to happen.

At an appropriate point in the penis massage, move to the “sacred spot”, the P-spot, and massage the sacred spot externally.

The “sacred spot”or P-spot is the prostate, a walnut-size gland located between the bladder and the penis. When the prostate is massaged it can very pleasurable for your partner.

You can massage the prostate either externally or internally. You approach the prostate internally by inserting one or two lubed fingers into your partner’s lubed anus. Alternatively, instead of your finger(s), you can use a special sex toy specifically designed for prostate massage. External prostate massage is done by locating the small bump between your partner’s balls and his anus, and massaging the prostate without penetration.

External prostate massage may be advisable if your partner has never had internal stimulation of the P-spot. Locate the sacred spot, by identifying a small between the testicles and the anus; it can vary in size from a large pea to a walnut. Start the massage by pushing gently inward, urging pressure on the sacred spot. Proceed slowly and gently; let your partner guide you in terms of pressure and pleasure.

Once you have found the sacred spot and have decided on a pleasurable pressure, massage the spot by applying pressure with your fingers or even your knuckles. Back off and repeat the pressure. You can also apply a circular massaging pressure. Some men tend to be hairy in this area even if they’re smooth or manscaped over the rest of their body; ensuring good lubrication in hairy areas will help you to achieve the desired sensations.

If your partner is one of the hairy ones, you’ll have to use more oil to massage the area. I would recommend shaving the area, itself a very arousing experience, so that you can access and massage the area more pleasurably.

The most effective technique for massaging the sacred spot is to stimulate it internally.

If you’ve started with external prostate massage, ask your partner for permission to proceed to the next level of intensity with an internal massage. If he’s ready, relax and prepare his anus with massage oil or lube. Start by massaging the area around his anus with your fingers in a slow, smooth, and gentle circular motion. Do not attempt to penetrate into the anus yet, even with one finger. Ask your partner’s permission or ask if he’s ready for you to insert a finger. Don’t stress him; just ask him if he’s ready for more intense attention.

If your partner wants penetration, prepare him for insertion by ensuring that both his anus and your fingers are well lubed or oiled up. As I have stated in my remarks elsewhere on preparation, make certain that your finger nails are trimmed down and all jagged edges are filed down smooth. The tissues around and inside the anus are delicate and you don’t want to injure or traumatize them.

Start by slowly and gently inserting the tip of one finger, don’t penetrate any deeper into your partner than up to the first finger joint. Make little wiggling and back-and-forth movements to relax him, let him adjust to the sensations, and to allow his sphincters adjust. When your partner is comfortable with this prepping, ask him for permission to proceed with inserting your finger(s) more deeply. You’ll need to insert your finger or fingers up to or just beyond the second finger joint, because the prostate is 2 to 3 inches inside the anus, and towards the front, towards the belly button.

You’ll be able to identify the prostate because it is about the size of a walnut and similar in shape. Once you have located it, caress it by massaging it with your finger(s), moving from side to side, up and down. Massaging the prostate is referred to as “milking” it using a beckoning motion of with your finger(s). It’s important to ask your partner how your massaging feels and ensuring he’s comfortable and enjoying the attention. It’s very important that you let him guide what you are doing.

Prostate massage can sometimes be difficult to do using the fingers because fingers vary in length and in stamina; your finger may not be able to get the range of movement or can get fatigued. If this is the case, purchase a sex toy designed specifically for prostate massage, and take it to the next level.

How to bring the massage to a finish.

There are two general ways to finish the massage session: you can stimulate your partner to climax with a final orgasm and ejaculation, or you can move into a next stage of homoerotic tantric ritual and proceeding to intercourse.

If your partner is practicing semen retention, you can have him hold all his cum as he learns to channel all of the energy of genital orgasm from his genitals into whole body energy orgasm.


When I describe homoerotic tantric sex to men, their initial reaction is “Sex for hours? No way!” The practice of tantric sex is not to have marathon sex sessions (though that is achievable and not a bad idea). The principle of homoerotic tantric sex to experience stronger, deeper, and more intimate connection with your partner. Such intimacy can certainly translate into exotic sex for hours and mind-blowing orgasms, but that will come in its own time, and you shouldn’t start off with such lofty goals that require patience, practice, discipline, and a very trusting partner.

Tantra principles not only help people have better sex but are also a powerful tool to release unhealthy emotions and trauma that block relationships.

Tantra is instrumental in healing because in this practice sex is sacred. It is not taboo. It is not something to be ashamed of. It gives the partners permission to integrate themselves as sexual men and own that energy as an empowered divinities. Just viewing sex as worship instead of something profane or simply biological is incredibly liberating for men practicing homoerotic tantra.

For simplicity, we can adopt the acronym KISSES to describe the essence of our Tantric engagement:

  • K-Kinetic: Tantra is about tapping into and embracing our inherent sexual energy.
  • I-Intimacy: Tantra principles create deeper intimacy and make a true “heart connection” through mindful sex.
  • S-Slow Down: By slowing down the foreplay, full body, penis, prostate massage, anal intercourse, and the finish, followed by intimacy you better able to be fully present and more aware and attentive to the ritual, cues and responses given by your partner, and aware of your own and your partner’s needs.
  • S-Sensuality: Establishing a sensual rapport before initiating the sexual ritual and techniques will ensure that you are participating in the session with your whole mind, body, and spirit and will harmonize you with your own body and allow you to be aware of and to respond to your partner’s body cues.
  • E-Emotions: You will ride a wave of emotions once you learn to beceome self-aware and you achieve self-knowledge; you will then practice self-forgetfulness and stillness. With the ego’s defenses broken, you will not have to deal with all the distracting barrier emotions and will be able to enjoy the enlightened emotions of Compassion, Love, Joy.
  • S-Spirituality: Tantra is an ancient spiritual practice. True Tantra is spiritual and far from being the perverted, hijacked physical practice focused only on sexual gratification and a pseudo-spirituality, the whole Westernized concept having been commandeered by the feminist movement, which totally kidnapped and misinterpreted the Shakti (the feminine principle; the primordial cosmic energy, the dynamic forces that move through the entire universe). Tantra is inasmuch feminine only because it is metaphoric as a complementarity to the Shiva masculine principle, and degraded to a gendered sociopolitical practice. Because we are embodied creatures Tantra has provided a means of incorporating our physical bodies into the rituals, whose ultimate destination is unity with the Divine, an almost universal destination for all mainstream spirititual and belief Traditions. Tantra, like yoga, must not become fragmented into profane fractional practices; Tantra, like yoga, is an integral system and Spirituality is its core and destination.

With that mission in mind, here are my five tips on how to incorporate tantric sex into your sex life:

Leave the ego at the door; be trusting, accept vulnerability, surrender to your partner, avoid judgment.

Tantra is no place to bring in your baggage accumulated from your conventional, profane sex experiences, whether they are good, bad or mediocre. Conventional, profane sex is a head game, in which we have myths, narratives, stories that we tend to apply to ourselves and to our partners; sex becomes a template in which you fill in the blanks with what you are expected to do. It becomes an egistic competitive performance game in which we judge our own body and our partner’s body; we evaluate our performance in self-pleasure and pleasuring of our partner; we have an O-ideal in terms of what orgasm should be and when it should happen. We have an incredible, sometimes debilitating anxiety about trying something new or unusual or kinky; we tend to avoid creativity or when we do it’s veiled in a façade of control. The key to our homoerotic tantric session is enter a non-judgmental, safe and sacred space, in which we have unconditional trust, submit to vulnerability, and surrender to our partner. We become self-forgetful and have no agenda — we simply surrender to the moment however long that moment will be. There’s no script.

Bliss breath is a tantra technique that makes you feel much closer to your partner, and enhances the depth of the Tantra interactions. We use a technique called bliss breath, in which you slightly constrict the back of your throat and take long, slow, deep breaths through your nose. You’ll make an unusual sound when you are doing it correctly. You will inhale and exhale in sync with your partner and in sync with the speed and rhythm of your actions, sometimes fast, and then slowing down to ride the edge of climax longer. Being in sync with our breathing will bring us into an almost trance state.

Make eye contact with your partner.

Tantric intimacy is far more than being naked with a partner and engaging in sexual interactions. We are all aware that in conventional profane sex partners can avoid true intimacy and sometimes are so wrapped up in their own experience as to be unaware of what’s going on with their partner.

We access the soul through the eyes; we feast on the vision of the beloved. We enter into their inmost being through the portals of the eyes. Make and maintain eye contact during foreplay and during sex for as long as possible. Be intense. Enter your partner through every gate. We are not accustomed to eye contact and it will feel awkward, you might feel self-conscious or embarrassed. But you must and will overcome these obstacles, and you will realize how important eye contact is to the total experience.

Concentrated eye contact the tantric session, especially when engaging in the sex and massage rituals, allows you to enter deep into the other person and allows your partner to enter deep inside you. Closed eyes during intimacy is a barrier to our purpose of entering into unity with our partner. Closing the eyes focuses the attention on our own experience or fantasies, rather than sharing with our partner. Closing the eyes may be an indication of shame or lack of trust; a fear of that deep spiritual connection. Eye contact helps you be fully connected to your own sensations and to your partner’s responses and cues.

Eye contact and feasting on your partner’s physical presence is one important way of involving the highly developed and sophisticated sense of sight in our tantric experience.

Try feather-light touching.

The sense of touch is ever present and of indispensable importance in the homoerotic tantric session. Without touch it would be almost impossible for the unenlightened practitioner or disciple to experience the many benefits of Tantra.

We can touch gently as with a kiss or light finger touching or forcefully as in some massage techniques. We have stimulating touch techniques in prostate and penis massage. You can run your fingernails gently up and down his arms, his back, his neck, etc. to produce a sensuous stimulating effect.

We also use techniques for caressing your partner with a feather-light touch or we use a very soft brush as one form of foreplay and stimulation in Tantra. The skin is a powerful and sensitive organ. This is an important technique for teasing your partner and delaying gratification; this aids in the build-up of sexual tension and energy, and increase arousal.

Such erotic tactile stimulation techniques also have a psychological effect in that they raise the level of anticipation in your partner, and increases levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine in his body. In tantra, foreplay is not about leading into hot, rough, raw sex. In Tantra, foreplay is preparatory ritual and it should be gentle, sensual, and loving while still arousing, energizing, and titillating your partner and yourself..

Practice yab-yum.

Yab-yum is a icon or symbol in the Buddhist art of India, Bhutan, Nepal, and Tibet. It represents the primordial union of wisdom and compassion, depicted as a male deity in union with his female consort. It is a Tibetan expression that translates literally to “father-mother” and is symbolized as two deities in a seated position with the feminine factor seated on the lap of the masculine factor, straddling him with her legs wrapped around him. To get in position, start by sitting up straight, cross-legged in front of each other and look into each other’s eyes.

The classic Tantra yab-yum embrace.

Your intimate connection is established by sitting quietly, motionless, maintaining mutual eye contact, and breathing in synchrony. In this stage of homoerotic tantric engagement there is no genital touching; you will use light, feather-like touching to caress each othre. The second position or yab-yum the one partner brings his knees over the other partner’s legs. In the third position, he straddles his partner and wraps his legs around him—chest-to-chest, heart-to-heart, and genitals-to-genitals. This position may be assumed later in the session when the one partner in the feminine diety position receives the masculine diety’s penis inserted into the anus and in this position rocks to-and-fro, up and down in a stimulating, massaging dance.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, a licensed sex and relationship therapist who has studied oxytocin, says, “Oxytocin is a powerful hormone. With the 20-second hug—chest-to-chest—you will feel a rush.” Can you imagine what you will feel with 15 minutes of yab-yum?

In this way the partners acting out the roles of the masculine and feminine dieties are prolonging anal intercourse and prostate massage by the masculine deity’s penis, in order to augment arousal , and build up energy and tension. I recommend that couples try this position for at least five minutes in the beginning and build up to 10 or 15 minutes.

The Tantric yam-yab position allows total access to the partner’s energy points.

Click on this link to download a pdf version of this article: Lingam Massage.


Cosmic Complementarity in Homoerotic Tantra

Just as in the desert, the male rains shed their moisture on the dry inert earth and life emerges from the inertness. So, too, the male element sheds its moisture on the dormant, barren female element and life emerges from the barrenness. Giving and receiving requires letting go and embracing.

As males we tend to embrace dualities like male and female, active and passive roles, which are in competition. That’s clearly wrong and a sign of dysfunction, because when engaging the true self, the soul, there is no gender competition; spirit has no gender. We, as Seekers, much view these roles as being complementary, they form a complete unit rather than two separate entities.

Our ancestors, both in the East and in the West, were quite familiar with the notion of complementarity, and accepted the capability of the male to engage both the “male” and the “female” roles not as opposing principles but as complementary principles; the ancients even made this capability “holy” and honored it as a nearness to the Cosmic. Only when we lost touch with the Cosmos did the complementaries lose their authority and gave way to the dualities, the systems of suppression and control, the notions of gender differences based on anatomy, males and females. That’s when the spiritual confusion and the psychological anxieties began. Not all men are strong enough to embrace the fundamentals of homoerotic Tantra.

Homoerotic Tantra requires physical and spiritual endurance, maturity, self-awareness and self-knowledge, acceptance of vulnerability, willingness to surrender and release, self-forgetfulness, mindfulness, discipline, a love of Truth, a thirst for enlightenment. Few men can handle such challenges plus the challenge of relinquishing control over others.

Self- awareness, self-knowledge, peace, smile; so goes one of our most powerful mantras. The cosmic experience of sharing complementarily with another male, and engaging the tantric melting into the other is a powerful experience, one that will distract your gaze from all that is outside the sacred embrace shared by you and your lover, and gently but fiercely redirect your spiritual gaze inward. To achieve this is a monumental effort in our contemporary cultures because it requires the male to shatter the confining mold into which he has been forced, and to emerge transformed. Compare this to the caterpillar who spends his caterpillar life constantly feeding like caterpillars do and then when he’s had enough of the compulsory feeding and consuming, he goes into seclusion and weave himself a coccoon into which he sequesters himself to meditate and to transform; he emerges as a butterfly, no longer earthbound, full of color and freedom, the very animal spirit guide that represents maleness, the liberated soul.

Generally speaking, the masculine principle is active; the feminine principle is passive. The masculine principle is filling; the feminine principle is receiving. The masculine principle actively fills the space of the feminine principle. The masculine principle (pursuing, capturing, entering, thrusting, filling), while the feminine principle is still, receiving, is entered, filled. The masculine is like a storm: energetic, fierce, awesome; the storm finishes in a torrent of moisture filling the receiving cistern of the feminine principle with life-giving wetness.

The female receives, contains and holds the male’s moisture until it is needed. This is not duality but a complementarity. If it were not for the male principle the female would remain dry, empty, barren, lifeless. If it were not for the female the male’s energy would be spent, his life-giving moisture would be wasted, co-creation would halt.

But, as I mentioned above, these two principles are not dualities, not separate entities, but two complementary parts of one unity. In other words, in our concept of homoerotic Tantra, both partners embody and interact as both male and female principles, each expressed in turn as the melting in engagement proceeds; neither partner is in anyway in “control” or dominant in the interaction, it seems like that might be the case in the conventionally thinking mind but we are not only teaching a change in our concept of relationship but also a change in our way of thinking.

We no longer think of two men in erotic interaction as being role players, one playing the man the other the woman, an active role and a passive role. No! That is simply wrong, degrading, and deviant. Each of the male partners in homoerotic Tantra are constantly alternating from dynamic to static, giving to receiving, filling and emptying, light and dark in continuous reciprocation. How does this work? You might ask. It works because both partners are in spiritual consensus, that is, they spiritually agree to be vulnerable and to surrender to each other; they become self-forgetful in the sense that they no longer have the desire to control but simply to be. This being is a product of self-awareness and self- knowledge, which brings peace to the partners, and Truth. The partners, now that they have surrendered, can now respond purely to the rhythms and responses during the homoerotic Tantra session. Both are forgetful of themselves and the world and simply flow with one another.

The only guides and communications are the other’s responses: his breathing, his heartbeat, his body heat, his perspiration, his primal vocalizations, his sensory hungers and your nurturing responses. Just as the partners are alternating in their complementarities in the spiritual and emotional sphere, so too are the physical interactions complementary and reciprocal.

All of the senses are involved: The partners gaze upon and worship the physical manifestation of the other, the temple, the physical manifestation of the divine, and so the eyes are pleasured with the beholding of the other’s body.

Touch is elemental and closely allied with the sense of sight; touch produces a tactile image of the touched. One can close one’s eyes and simply touch and see the touched one. The touched one receives the energic impulses from his partner’s body and from the fingers, the hands, the lips, the tongue, the penis, the entire body at once, and responds with changes in his breathing, his heart rate, his body temperature, his movements, his vocalizations.

Smell is a powerfully erotic sense. During our session will fill the air with sweet, gentle, masculine aromas and fragrances. We use oils to allow our touch to be silky, smooth and erotic. The oils have the scent of lavender, bergamot, pine, cedar, and other precious essential oils. The fragrance of the male body, each of its parts having its own unique aroma and its aroma having its own unique erotic effects, acts on the perceiver.

Compare the effect of the sweet scent of your man’s neck with the powerful male musk of his underarms, to the sweet male scent of his buttocks and the savory scent of his cock and balls. Each area has a special scent and will elicit a unique erotic response from you as you savor it and its unique flavor.


Flavor a perception made possible by the primary organ of taste, the tongue. But the sense of taste works hand in hand with the sense of smell and each should be used to complement the other. Taste your lover gently behind the ears, his earlobes, his neck.

Move, breathing deeply and slowly while flicking the tongue gently over his chest, to his shoulders, armpits, his biceps, constantly inhaling his fragrances and savoring his flavors. Take his hand in yours and trace his fingers with your tongue, you exhalations cooling while your tongue provides heat.

Down his abdomen to his navel, a particularly sensation rich area to spend a few moments of mutual sensory pleasure, and then down to his pubic area. The only stimulation is with your tongue and your breath. (Ignore the penis for now; we will give it special attention later in the session.) Note how his balls retract in response to your licking and sniffing.

Now gently raise his legs so that his knees are in the air and his feet flat. Explore his perineum, the area between his scrotum and his anus, a particularly sensitive area where you can externally stimulate his prostate. Moving along this narrow passage, and your partner in this position, you can begin stimulating his anus, breathing in the sweet musky aroma it offers you.

Taking hold of one of your partner’s legs, gently leverage him onto his stomach in a smooth circular motion, never releasing contact with his body, and providing stability with your guidance. Now, on his stomach, he presents you with his buttocks and his anus, a heavenly playground for fingers, tongue and lips. His inner thighs are now begging for some attention and from there we will move back to the buttocks and the anus, for the ultimate experience of prostate massage and milking.

While gazing upon your lover, savoring his scent and tasting his flavors, you have never stopped touching him.

While the first three senses were applied, the fourth sense, touch, was constantly present, whether through the tongue or the fingers, or with entire body contact. Touch was constantly providing feedback and guidance, whether you sensed your lover’s movements, his breathing and heartbeat, or providing stimulation and pleasure.

Hearing is an important part of the erotic experience. On the one hand we provide background sounds like low, rhythmic music or chanting, which set a pace and a sacred ambience but do not distract from the melting into one another that is taking place. But our sense of hearing is very important in the erotic engagement of and response to the lover. We not only hear the smoothness of our hands moving over his oiled body, we also listen to his breathing pattern to guide us in our interaction. We listen for his wordless vocalizations and know when he is getting lost in the experience. We place our ear to his chest and listen to the music of his heartbeat, he is living Love.

Time and space has no meaning in this sacred encounter with the other. Ego and performance, competition and control have no place in this safe and sacred space. There are only two in this microcosmos: you and your lover. Nothing else exists.

You and he are Lord Shiva and Diva Shakti, divine complements, existing only as complements of singularity, of union. Shiva in his trinity of manifestations as creator, preserver, and destroyer, with his lingam (“shaft of light”) and his trishula (trident) representing the three gunas (attributes): sattva (goodness, constructive, harmonious), rajas (passion, active, confused), and tamas (darkness, destructive, chaotic), and his Shakti, Parvati, his complementary consort, who is inseparable from her masculine principle, the tantric Shiva. Parvati (Shakti) is the universal symbol of the power and recreativity of Lord Shiva; she is the subduer of demons and the guardian of harmony. Parvati (Shakti) is a female principle who has no beginning and no end; it is alternating between motion and rest, during which order is re-established. Parvati (Shakti) is also the source of a bond that connects all beings and a means of their spiritual release. Her symbol is the yoni, the place of silence, of gestation. The union of the yoni and lingam represents the eternal process of creation and regeneration, the union of male and female principles, and all existence.

Cosmic complementarity in masculine and feminine principles, principles of love, passion, activity, darkness, light, harmony and balance, is key to our homoerotic tantric practice.

Are you mature enough to accept the challenge? Are you willing to trust your lover enough to be vulnerable? To surrender? If you are such a Seeker? If so join us at Homoerotic Tantra here on Facebook. Join us and follow us on the Homoerotic Tantra blog on WordPress. Emerge as the liberated male spirit!

Om Kroom Lingaya Om
William a.k.a. “Gay Karuna

The Tiger and the Butterfly Spirit Guides. Why my tattoos?

A totem animal is a spirit animal is and animal being, sacred symbol of a tribe, clan, family or individual. Tradition provides that each person is connected with up to nine different animals that will accompany him through life, acting as guides. Here’s a reflection on what I feel are my personal animal spirit guides.

“Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye dare frame thy fearful symmetry?” [William Blake]

It’s not always apparent which animal totem is one’s principal spirit guide, and most people are generally unaware even of the animal symbol representing one’s spirit, soul, or true self. That was true for me, even though for years I had a special attraction for tigers and butterflies. I never thought Why? that was or even gave it a second thought, until I decided to get a tattoo. When I got my first tattoo I responded,  “A butterfly” when the artist asked me what I had in mind. My first tattoo was a very small but colorful butterfly, and over the years it faded, probably because I really didn’t take proper care of it.

Then, a couple of years ago, I noticed the guys in my gym sporting larger and multiple tattoos, and so I became interested in getting my old tattoo either removed or tattooed over with a more vibrant one. My first visit to the tattoo artist met with the same question after we discussed what to do with my old tattoo. “What do you have in mind?” My immediate answer was “I want a tiger and a butterfly, but together.” “Together? How together?” My answer sparked a surprised look on the artist’s face. “I want the tiger in the butterfly or the butterfly in the tiger, if possible both/and.” His response was, “Give me a week to figure this out.”

Two Spirit Guides:
The Tiger and the Butterfly.

I returned after a week, and he had some pictures and drawings ready for me. My attention was drawn two two pencil sketches, and I imagined what they would look like in color. They became my final choices. I left the coloration to the artist but they had to be “vibrant.”

That’s an interesting word we threw around during the sessions, “vibrant.” There are a number of meanings for the word “vibrant,” including full of energy and enthusiasm, spirited, lively, full of life, energetic, vigorous, vital, animated, dynamic, stimulating, passionate, fiery. They certainly apply to my choice of totems, and I thought, “They actually describe my personality, my soul.” As for the colors, they had to be bright and striking, vivid, strong, rich, bold. Oranges, blacks, yellows, greens taken individually didn’t do much to turn me on but then, much later, after the tattoos were finished, I noted one day when describing them to a workout partner, that they were really two poles, the warm and the cool, they were opposites working together. These two seemingly opposite animal types actually represented opposites and together worked a special dynamic.

Right Shoulder Art

As I became more fascinated by how naturally these many factors came together in a sort of symphony, conscious and unconscious, I felt I had to learn more about these symbols, which I felt were always part of me but now were physically part of me, visible for all to see, and doing their magic as part of me.

Body art is one of the earliest forms of artistic expression known to humankind. It has been used to indicate status, religious devotion, desired protection against evil and disease, and much more. At times, body art was, and in some cultures, still is stigmatized, being associated with marginal elements in society. Rightly so! Those of us who surrender ourselves to the needle and the pigment are marginal: we are in some, many ways metaphysically different.

Tattoos, I believe, are not just a way of turning your body into a living, moving billboard, and I believe that covering the body with a collage of multiple tattoos is actually ugly. I feel that quality should take precedence over quantity, and that each modification of the body should actually enhance the “beauty” of the body. Each and every modification made to our body should be done only after careful reflection and after having discerned the spiritual reason for making a permanent change to the already naturally beautiful form and substance of the body.

Left Shoulder Art

Like a jug, the container, the physical form gives shape, it’s the space within that gives it a purpose, a meaning. The same with the human being; the physical form, the shape is formed around purpose. Taking that thought a step further, it is what is within that shapes what we perceive an object or a person to be through the medium of the physical senses, but it’s not necessarily what the person in reality is in their being, their essence. Of all the many hypotheses offered by psychology and religion for Why? a person chooses to become a living palette for art one of them is older than psychology or even philosophy itself: it’s to express a certain spirituality, mysterious, wordless, powerful.

Today, people express many different reasons for getting various forms of body art. Some of them are a means of personal expression, while others continue to decorate their bodies as a means of commemorating an important event/time in their lives, or as in my case, a response to something mysterious working from within.

The Tiger Spirit Guide or Totem

The tiger is a symbol of passion, power, devotion. The tiger hunts at night, and night is the realm of the unconscious, of the deep mind, the spirit The tiger symbolizes  of sexual energies, which can be creative or destructive. But the tiger is also a fierce protector and guards the passions, allowing only the most loving sensual passions to emerge.

The tiger spirit not only produces the most loving, protective, sensual passions but also symbolizes new adventures, and the dynamic to pursue these challenges with focus and dedication.

William Blake recognized the mystique and the mystical about the tiger when he wrote, “Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye dare frame thy fearful symmetry?” Blake reflects on the tiger symbolism as fiery. “burning bright”, in the unconscious realm, “in the forests of the night,” and fearsome, so much so that Blake ponders how powerful a Divine being would need to be to fashion such a creature that embodies beauty, symmetry, fierce power, awe-inspiring strength, and yet is fluid and balanced, passionate, dedicated, protective.  Metaphysical imagery frames the tiger as being associated with inner strength , and an almost predatory focus and courage.

Tiger also symbolizes a sort of unpredictability, and when the tiger is aroused and responds the results are swift, sure and decisive. Dealing with the tiger is not the time for making rash decisions or foolish moves. Choose your battles wisely, in other words.

While all of the above is certainly not negative, assuming you are respectful of the spiritual power you are dealing with, there is a clearly positive aspect: when you keep the tiger spirit close to you, in your life, the person embodying the tiger spirit can act as a powerful reminder of overcoming obstacles and fears by reclaiming a place of empowerment. The person embodying the tiger spirit has an ability to manage strong emotions effectively. There is a caveat, of course: some people would find the person embodying the tiger spirit to be unnerving, or might find themselves uncomfortable in the presence of such a person.  Such discomfort might indicate that they feel or threatened by the mystery or strength of the person or a situation, and that they might need to reassess their relationship with that person or situation.

When you encounter a person embodying the tiger as his spirit animal it is wise to treat the encounter with the utmost reverence. The tiger spirit will teach you patience – when to move, when to remain still and quiet, and in the end experience a successful “pursuit.” The tiger spirit will not tolerate carelessness or procrastination when the path is clear for the next great leap.

The person embodying the tiger spirit can provide his partner or companion with strength and support for nurturing great  spiritual growth. Watching, experiencing the man embodying the tiger spirit managing the many day-to-day challenges of life, great and small, can be likened to the tiger teaching its cubs to hunt, the challenges are learning tools. These can weary the spirit of the ordinary, insensitive person but the tiger spirit  stands ready with a raw power that urges the sensitive man forward. Just as the wild tiger in nature is known for his  amazing bursts of energy, the tiger spirit person can exploit that resource to confront any challenge.

The man embodying the tiger spirit yearns for adventure, and he can stare down a statue! There is little that can stand in his way when he focuses in on something. The tiger spirit can be overwhelming if it is not received by a partner or companion with courage and respect; while the tiger spirit is controlled and focused, moderated by a strong sense of right, compassion, empathy and sensitivity, it can roll over weaker spirits who don’t have the good sense to make way. The temptation to stand and oppose the tiger spirit, asserting one’s self for the sake of the ego, the false self, typically happens early in the spiritual relationship. As you mature with Tiger, that temptation to assert comes under greater control. In the meanwhile use a chrysoprase crystal to help cope with any anxiety or discomfort arroused in the early stages of the relationship with Tiger.

If your significant other embodies the tiger as his spirit animal your relationship and sexual expressions are or will be very intense. He will love you completely in his focused way; you will fill a very special niche in his life but don’t make the fatal mistake of expecting to fill all the niches of his life; you’ll burn out trying. He will cherish you fully for what you are, and he will have a strong desire to parent and to protect. This is why a man embodying the tiger spirit is ideal in a relationship between an older “daddy” type man and a younger “son” or “mister” type man. Tigers excel in their mentoring and protection roles and keep their partners close for sharing, intimacy, and spirituality.

The Vibrant Healing Properties of Green – The Chrysoprase Crystal

It might now be appropriate to say a word here about the chrysoprase crystal if a tiger spirit has found its way into your life. The entry of a person embodying the tiger spirit into your life will usually signal a significant change, since most people are attracted to a tiger spirit because they sense the power, sensitivity, and strength of the tiger spirit. Again, when dealing with any tiger situation, caution is advised; you can easily become a meal. When attracted to the tiger spirit, you should take it as a sign that you may be in need of and must be willing to enter into a physically,  emotionally and spiritually transformative experience. This is where the chrysoprase crystal may provide you with some energetic support.

The chrysoprase crystal is sought out for manifesting optimism, joy, and happiness; it is an effective prescription for encouraging a more positive outlook on life.

If anxiety and uncertainty roll in on gale-force winds rattling the shingles of your natural tranquility, it’s time cuddle close to your tiger spirit man and to keep your chrysoprase crystal close, reflecting on meaning meditating on the heart chakra. The activation of this energy center allows for a stronger flow of healing energy through the heart, and brings you closer to living from the heart and draws on the universal power of erotic love and inner beauty.

Chrysoprase is a variety of chalcedony, and was a favorite of Alexander the Great, who called on its spiritual healing powers during his campaigns. To me, that’s a persuasive pedigree.

The chrysoprase crystal is part of the pale blue green color ray. Imagine tropical emerald waters brushing against white sands at the edge of the forest, the abode of the tiger spirit, your protection and source of sensuality. In a meditation, let the stone transport your spirit there anytime, and you can reach out to the man embodying the tiger spirit. Let his ancient wisdom guide you to a divine light of inner truth and enlightenment as you float down a turquoise river of inner peace, illuminated with a brilliant white light, the white light of pure love generated by a pure heart.

Love means self-sacrifice, letting go when necessary, taking back control from the ego. There’s always the perception that there’s a fine line between self-preservation and letting go of the urge to control, living for the other, controlling the urge to possess; the cooling and healing properties generated by the chrysoprase crystal are beneficial for supporting the delicate balance of emotions. Forgive and learn, or be emotionally paralyzed. Chrysoprase can remind us how good it feels to be free of toxic emotions and the stresses of consumerism and materialism. The man embodying the tiger-spirit cherishes a balanced state of mind, a state of spiritual alignment, and that state is a first step towards healing your former defective spirit,

Concentrate on your pure and self-less intention, on surrender, on forgiveness, positive inner growth, or encouraging hope in your life.

The heart chakra stones such as chrysoprase, rose quartz and jade are thought to attract the abundance of Eros, which associates it closely with challenges of erotic relationships and the creative force they incarnate.

The vibrant green in the eye of the tiger is reminiscent of the chrysoprase crystal and its energies.

The man embodying the tiger spirit can be a natural guide for you in times when you feel confused, particularly morally or ethically. If he is your partner or companion, you have great wealth to draw on and the tiger man is very freely giving and generous, not looking to exact anything but your love, loyalty, trust in return.

Tiger men have an independent streak – and need periodic alone time even if his  partner thinks he understands him completely. Know from the start you can’t chain or tame a tiger, you have to let him be a tiger. Gratefully accept the space you occupy in his life, try not to be demanding, it’s not necessary. The tiger spirit anticipates and reads your needs even before you know them yourself. Do not try to change the tiger man; to change him would be likened to attempting to change the stripes on a living tiger. Do not try to cage the tiger man; he’ll break free in an instant. Be still, quiet, patient like the tiger spirit.

Wild Tigers have excellent night vision. Applied to the man embodying the tiger spirit, that spirit’s spiritual effects improve at night by the light of the moon; the tiger spirit is at home in the dark forest of the unconscious, the home of the passions. Tigers, like other cats, also respond deeply to touch; the man with the tiger spirit will place great meaning on being touched, explored, and responding with touch and exploration. The tiger spirit’s touch is not restricted to the physical but is equally at home in the psychological and the spiritual. If you’re not into touching and being touched, steer clear of the man embodying a tiger spirit.

The Tiger’s Eye

Many people embodying the tiger spirit animal carry the image of the tiger when they are embarking on a quest or an adventure or confronting a challenge! This is particularly opportune for the man wanting to immerse himself in a new environment or relationship, in studies, or in other cultures with all their novel believes and values. The fact that tigers have excellent hearing also applies to the man embodying the tiger spirit: he hears everything, even the unsaid, and is an excellent listener. A partner with keen sense of hearing and listening skills makes the experience all the more rewarding because the unsaid or innocuous small things that others might miss are picked up by the tiger man. What you might think may be on the edge of awareness will be in the tiger man’s clear peripheral vision.

Call on Tiger as your Power Animal when you need renewed confidence. There is nothing uncertain with Tiger energy and medicine – this cat is the perfect embodiment of elegant power. As Tiger energy guides she teaches self-actualization – you begin to feel comfortable in your own skin and even revel in it. That is why Tigers often come to those who have poor body images or low self-esteem. Tiger men are also valuable partners and companion to those who are addicted to consumerism and materialism, or to rivalries that sap a man’s inner and outer strength. The tiger man’s sense of balance, harmony and fluidity are a source of security to those who might feel lost, confused, drowning.

In terms of spiritual growth and awareness, Tiger is all about keeping your eye on the prize. Whatever your goals are energetically, Tiger as a Power Animal provides tireless discipline and energy. From a Shamanic standpoint Tiger symbolizes healing, the immune system and clearing environmental toxins from your system. The tiger man is an excellent detoxifier, energizer, and source of empowerment.

Butterfly Symbolism & Meaning

When a man embodying the butterfly spirit begins visiting your life, something new and wonderful is about to unfold! It’s time for personal growth and greater awareness of your mental, physical and spiritual being. Change can sometimes be challenging and confusing because it moves us out of our comfort zone but you  cannot embrace a “new” until you release the “old” you. The man embodying the butterfly spirit can show you that can fly confidently above and beyond the obstacles, physical, psychological and spiritual, that would otherwise hold you back.

The man embodying the butterfly spirit as a mentor will place considerable emphasis on movement –from one state in our physical, psychological and spiritual exploration to another, more advanced level.

The butterfly spirit helps us to turn our thoughts inward to review our character, morals and habits and to move closer to identifying our natural self, our pure self that is our unique self and not a product of what others want to make of us.

The outcome of the relationship with the butterfly-spirit endowed ally is a positive restoration to an enlightened being, relieved of excess baggage, you can dance Eros’ dance with unbridled love!

The butterfly spirit as an animal guide spirit has many appearances and attributes. Early Christians interpreted the butterfly in nature as a symbol representing the soul and its journey. Native Americans venerate the butterfly as the symbol of transformation, happiness and the diversity of nature. In Chinese tradition newlyweds were often given gifts bearing two Butterfly images to symbolize marital happiness and harmony, probably because of the bilateral symmetry of the butterfly’s wings and their rhythmic beating in flight.

The man embodying the butterfly spirit emphasizes simplicity and simplification. For the butterfly spirit it’s simple: just go back and care for the basics. The butterfly spirit doesn’t change nor does he want to change his partner. Like the butterfly in the field, he visits his partner and tastes his sweetness but doesn’t damage or change him. The man embodying the butterfly spirit tends those in his life just like the butterfly tends the flowers in the field; he opens his senses to the nectar and aroma of living in the moment and sharing that moment, reciprocally, with his partner. When possible he savors and rests; do what you can now. At other times, he lingers searching, mindful that quality learning and relationship rarely happens in one visitation. Slow, mindful changes are the ones that last a lifetime, laying the foundations for enlightenment and self-actualization. The butterfly spirit held within will emerge from its inner work when the time is right, with fresh insights and intentions to guide his partner to the next stage in his spiritual growth.

The butterfly spirit embodied in a man whispers softly of his hidden potentials but frequently these will surface on their own when needed, that is, when the time is right. We can recall the proverb that says, “There’s nothing in a caterpillar that knows it’s going to be a butterfly.” But the awesome transformation from caterpillar to winged beauty happens, and it happens quite naturally. Before this can happen, however, the caterpillar eats voraciously as only a caterpillar can do. So, too, the man embodying the butterfly spirit, while still in the caterpillar stage, feeds his soul voraciously with new  experiences, new knowledge, until it’s ready for integrating  new truths.

As the butterfly in nature is the picture of happiness and vision. The man embodying the butterfly spirit brings a spiritual lightness to being; he brings a vision that provides vital color and greater clarity.

The butterfly in nature and unusually keen visual perception and can even see wavelengths invisible to human beings, such as ultraviolet light.  The man embodying the butterfly spirit, too, has keen vision and can see colors most others can’t perceive; he glimpses angels as well as demons.

The man blessed with the butterfly spirit has a natural lightness of spirit! He loves natural beauty and the beauty of nature, and is guided by the what is morally and ethically good when it comes to maintaining balance in relationships, the environment, the cosmos.

The man embodying the butterfly spirit is by nature social, engaging, attractive and vibrant. He endeavors to live in the moment, and to live each moment fully; he celebrates life and like the wild goose in migration follows an invisible path to his destination.

Spread Your Wings!

The beauty in life is the opportunity for transformation, for movement. Every moment brings a change, we just have to be awake to take advantage of the meaning and the growth it offers. The butterfly spirit can manage radical, complete change and facilitates the process with gentleness, regenerating breezes and a kiss of beauty.

During migration, monarch butterflies will travel thousands of miles and will amazingly find their “ancestral” trees; the monarch ‘grandchild’ or even ‘great-great grandchild’ butterfly will find the exact same spot that their grandparents sheltered in after their migration.

This ancestral behavior or cellular memory of their ancestor’s behavior observed in the monarch butterfly is analogous to the butterfly spirit’s exploitation of traditional or ancestral wisdom by tapping into ancient knowledge in the repository of archetypal, collective consciousness.

I hope that this article has inspired you to look into yourself to find your animal spirit guide, and to discover how that inner power can make you a better, more beautiful person for yourself, for your partner, for the entire universe.

Namasté! Peace to you!

Cum More & Stay Healthy

My whole philosophy about relationships and intimacy may fall through the cracks after you read this but please don’t think that I’ve changed my mind about anything having to do how we can manage spirituality in our most intimate moments, using that sexual spirituality to increase our ecstasy when sharing with a lover.

Normally, I would say hold off on ejaculating for as long as possible, practicing cum control (I’ll be writing about that soon) until the very end and then exploding, while experiencing multiple orgasm-like moments throughout the session. Male orgasm is not cumming; cumming is ejaculating, shooting your cum load. Orgasm is that transcendent experience you have just before cumming and it’s that transcendence that I like to extend, expand and repeat during a love-making session.

In a recent scientific article, however, Harvard Medical School publishes research findings that support the idea that male sexual health is enhanced by ejaculating more often than most men tend to think. This Harvard study is good news for sexually active men.

According to the study:

The scientists found no evidence that frequent ejaculations mark an increased risk of prostate cancer. In fact, the reverse was true: High ejaculation frequency was linked to a decreased risk. Compared to men who reported 4–7 ejaculations per month across their lifetimes, men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer. And the results held up to rigorous statistical evaluation even after other lifestyle factors and the frequency of PSA testing were taken into account.

According to a Study, cumming can have a positive impact on prostate health!

The studies from the United States and Australia do little to answer these critical questions — but they do open a new avenue for research. Since both report that a high frequency of ejaculation early in adulthood has the greatest impact on the risk of prostate cancer decades later, they call attention to the role of events early in life, when the prostate is developing and maturing. Sexual activity in adolescence may be a predictor of risk in adulthood.

The researchers found that the risk of prostate cancer in men aged between 20 and 29 and 40 and 49 was significantly reduced if they ejaculated at least 21 times a month, whether through sex or masturbation. This was compared with men who ejaculated just four-to-seven times a month.

In a 2016 Medscape article, Study: Ejaculate More, Have Less Prostate Cancer Risk, the findings are confirmed and updated, concluding: “Safe sexual activity could be good for prostate health.”

That theory might have parallels in folk wisdom. When these results were reported last year, a Medscape reader commented that the results make common sense, and urged his fellow male readers to “keep the pipes clean boys!”

The researchers offer a number of hypotheses why ejaculation may help reduce prostate cancer risk, such as reducing stress or keeping cell metabolism well regulated. But these suggestions remain in the realm of speculation. Despite any lurid tales you may have heard growing up, masturbation is entirely safe. So if you want to do it as a preventative method then it wouldn’t pose any health risks.

Now, this information should not be interpreted to mean that we should all run out and become promiscuous sluts or chronic wankers, or that risky sexual behavior is acceptable. What it does mean is that safe and considerate sexual activity is healthy and keeps us healthy.

This does not contradict the importance of prolonging the ejaculation by cum control or so-called edging. I feel that the sexual experience is not just about cumming or cumming together but about entering the spirit of one’s partner and transcending the mere physical experience of cumming.

I’ll be writing more about cum control or “edging” in a new article and tell you how to practice it. For now, boys, cum more and stay healthy!

Keep in Touch,