A note from William a.k.a. Gay Karuna Guy. I have the Homoerotic Tantra page on Facebook. I posted a link to this article and to the 5 senses table. No nudity in either of the FB posts or links. I also included a line at the very top “This is not SPAM!” to alert the Facebook Thought Police that it was not spam. I just received a message that I am blocked for three days because I violated community standards regarding nudity. WHAT NUDITY YOU FACEBOOK MORONS?!? Facebook’s so-called community standards are ridiculously arbitrary and inconsistently applied. We need to get together and force Facebook to subscribe to 1st Amendment Free Speech or at least have responsible standards!!! They want to operate and HQ themselves in the USA, let them adhere to the laws of the USA! I’m annoyed! FIGHT FACEBOOK! IT’S NOT TOO BIG TO FAIL!
Tantra is Not Sex as You Think You Know It
(But Don’t Understand It)
I sometimes hear men, younger and more mature ones as well, talking about their earlier erotic experiences and describing them as being more “spontaneous” and “exciting.” My usual questions is, “How?” It’s not surprising that what follows is a loud silence. They simply don’t know the answer! But they do know all about the clichés, the stereotypes, the disappointments. Yes! That they know well.
Gay men talk the talk and walk the walk and are still as lonely and insecure as they were before the great liberation movements of the 1960s. Gay men still have their shabby bars and their chic clubs. Gay men still live the stereotypes. Most gay men are either foolheartedly, self-destructively (either in mind, body or spirit or all three) “out” or closet cases paralyzed by their paranoia or their “bisexuality” (they want to be gay but don’t want to offend society). Why? Because all of the pride and freedom fought for and sacrificed for by more courageous, reality focused generations of gays has become merely external; today’s gay men are as empty as ever, they’ve freed the bird but the song remains imprisoned. Most gay men still live the stereotype and are continue to be cliché.
Agism and superficiality reign supreme
Agism and superficiality reign supreme; more pain and suffering is inflicted on gay men by gay men than the homophobes could ever dream of inflicting. Most of the pain and suffering is inflicted by the immature, confused, young, attractive gay men on the mature, experienced, older gay men by marginalizing or excluding them. The mature gay man as mentor and protector is a vision that is beyond the majority of gay men in their 20’s and 30’s; by the time they realize what they’ve lost by not having a mature lover, they’re experiencing the very same pain, suffering, marginalization they inflicted on others. We can call this gay male karma.
At least when gay men had to go out to a bar or to a club to find a partner, whether for the night or for life, they had real human contact with all the conscious and subliminal stimuli, feedback, ritual, etc. It was a real social human experience by all standards. Whether you got “lucky” and found a partner or went home alone, you still knew you had a “place,” a community, people who would likely look up, smile, wave, say “Hi!”, grope your butt, whatever. They were people, real flesh and blood people, and that made a difference.
You’ve become an addict of an agenda aimed at dehumanizing you, degrading you to a “click”
Asocial media like Facebook and online dating services simply made a bad but manageable situation worse. They replaced life with unlife; reality with virtual freedom with control. You no longer have to engage in a healthy exchange of human communication in verbal and non-verbal communication; you no longer have to take a shower and get dressed; you no longer have to be real; you no longer have to be the real you. You can lie as long as and as much as you like; you can appear as anyone you like; you can have any body you think will get the most attention. Instead of discussion, conversation, compromise, negotiating a relationship you go through a catalogue of literally thousands of so called “friend requests” and “people you might know” suggestions, perusing the lies and deceptions, picking out those that appeal to you most and with a “click” you have an online “friend.” Say the wrong thing and you get “unfriended,” “blocked,” or “deactivated.” Your existence — or your utter destruction — is but a click away. That’s what you’ve become. You’ve become an addict of an agenda aimed at dehumanizing you, degrading you to a “click,” depersonalizing you, depriving you of real human contact, making you into an object, objectifying you. And all of this happens in a universe that really doesn’t exist, and can vaporize in a second. And you wonder that you are prone to depression? You wonder that you can’t hold a conversation with a real person? Don’t you wonder that you need to check your messages every few seconds even when you are with real, flesh and blood people? Makes no sense, does it?
We are sentient, feeling creatures that are designed to stimulate and to be stimulated. We have five physical senses and some would argue that we have a number of paraphysical or superphysical senses like feelings, intuition, emotions. For simplicity sake let’s call those paraphysical or superphysical senses extrasensory perception or ESP.
We have five senses
We have five senses but, like our brain, we either use only a small part of them or we don’t use them at all. I’ve put together a brief table below listing the five (six) senses and how they work in the contexts of the “human social life” and in “online social life,” comparing the two. Please note that for the sake of brevity, I have not gone into detail but have included only the most obvious points and observations.
**You can read just the table or download it The Five Senses (Table).
In addition to the sensory and extrasensory perceptual cues, we also have social cues that we use to determine how we behave and what we should be doing in terms of social expectations (versus what we feel we want to do in terms of natural behavior).
Body language is something we are incredibly aware of but fail to understand that it can be deceptive, unnatural, objectifying without being unattractive. In fact, a very brief visit to any Facebook gay-oriented page or to an online dating service will provide more than enough proof of this fact. Just look at the models! All posed, all airbrushed, all perfectly groomed, all with a twelve pack, and every single one of them is plastic. Tanned, sculpted, revealing the predictable amount of penis or scrotum and just the right amount of pubic hair. A perfect globe of buttock. Perfectly coiffed or scruffed. And you fall for it!
Most gay porn videos look more like a cannibal feast!
Then there are the sex gurus who tell you how to have perfect masturbation experience, the best blowjob, how to give the best hand job, how to be the perfect top or bottom. And the gay porn videos that show you how “real men” have sex, that is, violent, controlling, competitive, rough, quick, and of course, objectifying. How many gay porn videos have you seen that actually showed men worshipping each other gently, tenderly, lovingly. How many gay videos have you seen that show two men devouring each other gently with kisses, tasting each other, savoring his scents, attending to his responses, etc.
Most gay porn videos look more like a cannibal feast! The kissing is hard, rough, and it looks like the next kiss is going to draw blood! Rather than being aware of the man’s body as a work of art, as temple architecture, it’s treated like a sex toy. Just watch how the active model treats the passive model’s anus before stabbing him with his penis. Of course, you aren’t experiencing anything but image and sound so you can’t possibly imagine what it must feel, smell, or taste like. So what’s the sense, I ask you?
It’s so easy to sit there and talk stupid nonsense without really having any thought process behind the words; that’s what most men’s sex is, stupid nonsense with no real process behind the performance, and then the finish…all done…next dick. Any you wonder why you’re lonely, unfulfilled, constantly looking for perfect but not making what you already have perfect. You don’t have a clue how to do that, do you? You never gave it a thought either, have you?
Social media provide a meeting place for stupid, lonely, lost, blind souls looking for something in the wrong places
Online dating sites, Facebook, porn sites all have their claim to fame in that they provide a meeting place for stupid, lonely, lost, blind souls looking for something in the wrong places. Looking for Mr. Perfect or Mr. Right and getting shallow reflections of themselves in their smartphone screens, idolizing the unattainable perfect body, becoming addicted to “digital” friends and “digital” love affairs, and then logging on the next porn site to have a solo performance of a lonely finish.
My question would have to be: Do you really think that’s the way it is? Are you that delusional? Are you that erotically ignorant? What do you think the obvious answer is?
At some point the curiosity becomes routine, the routine becomes habit, the habit becomes nature, and nature becomes reality. We lie once and it works so we lie a second time and it works; before we know it we’re liars. We lie to others and we lie to ourselves. Our lies become our reality. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Now I don’t want to get into a discussion of Why? people lie — to themselves and to others — but I will provide a diagram that might open your eyes to Why? people lie and leave it at that. It’s clear and self-explanatory and I want to get on with the real subject of this article: How we stimulate the five senses in our homoerotic tantric sessions.
Part II Continues the Discussion and Provides Guidance on the “How To” of a Session