Older Men are Simply HOT! When I see a salt-and-pepper handsome face, healthy, a little arrogant, well-groomed and cared for, has a bit of spunk in his stride, looks like he takes pride in his mind and body, his spirit sends that message. He’s HOT!
I often find it a bit incomprehensible that some guys are interested in twinks or 20-somethings, and seem to be so uninterested in older guys. It just seems so much more natural and sensible for someone to be attracted to a handsome, fit, daddy than to an immature, confused twit.
I’ve already written a piece on agism and playing the stupid numbers game and how shallow and useless it is. All that having been said, it’s sometimes just necessary to point things out to some people. So here goes…
First of all, it’s all about relationship and relationship is all about three things: you, your partner and what keeps you together. It’s not about what other people think or what your fake friends tell you you need to do. If you travel with a fool you travel alone. That goes for life and friends as well. Those guys who are giving you advise probably don’t know their asses from their elbows but think they can give you relationship advice. Forget about it!
Get some balls and get into a really unique and rewarding relationship that will last longer than a couple of drunken nights.
There are many benefits to a relationship between a younger man and an older man. Here are just a few:
- Appreciation. An older guy probably wouldn’t feel stupid saying “Good morning, handsome!” to you every day. He’d probably not feel odd just helping you on with your jacket. He’d probably enjoy tucking you in, scruffing your hair, and turning you on when he book-ends you.
- Gourmet guys. They just taste and smell really good. Like a gourmet guy. The presentation is really pleasing to the eye and gets the juices flowing. Like a beautiful meal they please the eye and the palate.
- No stupid melodrama. Younger guys are usually a bit consumed by the selfish concern of where they are in their life, and how that journey is playing out by comparing with some pretty unreliable standards: their peers. Your club crowd is likely just as lost as the next guy so get a real grip on life. When you have that panic attack or throw that hissy fit or mantrum, you’ll need someone who can show you the bigger picture and give you some balance and support. He’s solid, has a little more life experience and rationality. He can bring you back down to earth. You can depend on his experience, live and wisdom. You can trust his life experience and you can be vulnerable with him; he’s there to love and to protect you.
- Better Solutions, Less Blank Stares. An older partner likely has the courage to admit that he has chosen life paths that didn’t all work out, and that starting again isn’t the end of the world. Being with a man who can talk about how he felt in a situation and how he handled himself and the situation is a really great experience; its impressive, consoling, helpful. It’s certainly better than the blank stares and histrionics you’d get from inexperienced and immature “counselors.” You won’t feel alone with your problems.
- Quality Sharing. Sharing is a key element to any durable relationship. You can share your household chores, your errands. You can share each other’s selections at a restaurant. It’s always great to have someone say, “I’m stopping at the market on my way home. Can you think of anything we need?” When we are young we are pretty self-centered and selfish; sharing is a skill and it’s learned as we grow older and mature. Sharing the workload or sharing responsibilities in a compromise doesn’t raise issues, it makes them more livable.
- Being Grateful and Showing Gratitude. We have to care about the one’s we’re with. We have to take care of them. We have to be present for them. When we are selfish we notice only ourselves and what we need, just what a young child does. Some guys just never grow up. Some guys just want the glamour and never realize that the one they are pursuing is just not the right person. An older man usually will be able to know whether the fit is right or not. You can usually trust his response and his judgment. He’s more likely to know when the fit is good or even near perfect, and he will prove it every day.
- Challenges? Of course there are. You’ll have to grow up. You’ll have to be real. You’ll have to be responsible. The real challenge is whether you will have the courage to love and be loved, and to live your life with your man despite what others think. The challenge is not to hand over control of your relationship to others. Sure, you’ll face criticism from friends and family but it’s your happiness that’s at stake and your relationship success. Think about it and ask yourself: “Do they see what I can see?” “Do they know what I know?” “Would they rather I have relationships that hurt me and make my cynical, unhappy?”
If you are comfortable enough in your own sense of moral and ethical values you can judge for yourself. Society’s pressures and prejudices are not really the values you need to apply to something as important as a life relationship. As long as you are not being used or taking the role of someone’s “mistress” you should consider going for it!
There are some great public relationships between younger and older men, and some celebrities have done us a great service in going public with their unique relationships. Here’s an example: 9 Famous Gay Men With Younger Boyfriends.
Here are a couple of links to articles about younger men in relationships with older men:
So by now you might be asking if there are any limits. Should my man be 15, 20, 30 years older than me. What’s the best range. The answer is that there is none. I don’t think that anyone immature, whether he’s 25 or 85, should go into any relationship lightly. I don’t think that a mature man should be diddling with young boys or older immature boys. That’s a recipe for disaster! But I do think that it’s a matter of individual choice and taste. You have to take any relationship choice very seriously because the consequences can be very serious.